Help How Do I Suggest Home Share to My Mum? A Gentle Guide for Families Supporting an Ageing Parent in Dublin

Supporting an ageing parent is something most of us never truly prepare for. One day Mum is managing well on her own, and the next you notice a dip in confidence, a quieter tone in her voice, or simply that the days have become longer and lonelier for her than before. If you’re in your 50s or 60s you may be asking yourself:

“Is it the right time to bring up home sharing?” “How do I say this without upsetting her?” “What if she thinks I’m taking away her independence?”

These concerns are normal, and they show how much you care. The conversation about home sharing doesn’t have to be difficult — but it does require gentleness, timing, and a clear understanding of your parent’s feelings.

Here is a warm, natural way to approach it.

Start with the right moment

Choose a quiet time when your parent feels relaxed and safe — not when they’re tired, rushed or preoccupied. A cup of tea at the kitchen table often creates an atmosphere where meaningful conversations can unfold comfortably.

Begin with empathy, not solutions

Older adults often worry about losing control or being a burden. Start the conversation by acknowledging their independence and expressing how much you value it.

You might say something like:

“Mum, I love how independent you are, and I want to help you keep things just as they are for as long as possible.”

This sets a tone of respect, not pressure.

“Connection across generations — a daughter supporting her mum with warmth, respect, and understanding.”

Gently explore what’s getting harder

You can gradually touch on the real concerns — the long evenings alone, difficulty getting out, or the quietness that has slowly crept in.

Many adult children tell us they have noticed:

• fewer outings

• loss of interest in hobbies

• long stretches of silence during the week

• more time alone than feels comfortable

These small changes are often the first signs that a little support could make life easier and more enjoyable — without taking anything away.

Explain home sharing in simple, reassuring terms

Some people imagine home sharing as “someone moving in.” In reality, it’s companionship — a structured, safe arrangement where an older adult offers a spare room to a carefully matched person who provides:

• daily company

• a reassuring presence in the evenings and overnight

• small, everyday help

• conversation and connection

  
  

You might explain it like this:

“It’s not care. It’s someone living here who brings company and a bit of help — someone you choose and feel comfortable with.”

Share real-world experience: home sharing works

If you want to build confidence, you can mention how well it has worked for many families in Dublin.

You might say: “Other families have found it really gives everyone peace of mind. There’s someone around in the evenings, and the house doesn’t feel so quiet.”

Address concerns about privacy and independence

This is the biggest fear older adults have — and it’s understandable. Reassure gently:

• They choose the companion.

• They meet them in advance.

• Their routines stay the same.

• Their space is respected.

You can say: “You’re still in control. Nothing happens unless you feel fully comfortable.”

Involve your parent — don’t present a decision

Older adults respond well when they are invited to be part of the process. Ask them:

• What kind of personality would they enjoy?

• Would they prefer someone quiet?

• Someone who chats?

• Someone who helps with small tasks?

This shifts the dynamic from “being talked to” to being included.

Talk about the reality of costs — gently

In Dublin, the cost of care and accommodation is increasingly challenging. Home sharing offers a cost-neutral option that many families find sustainable.

You can phrase it simply:

“It’s a way to bring company into the home without big monthly costs.”

Suggest a trial period — it feels safe and non-committal

A trial lets your parent experience home sharing without feeling locked in Just reassure:

“We can try it for a few months, and if it doesn’t suit you, that’s absolutely fine.”

This takes away pressure and allows curiosity to guide the experience.

Reassure them that you remain fully involved

Older adults want to know: “What happens to me if this doesn’t work?”

Tell them clearly:

“I’ll be with you throughout this. I’m not stepping back — I’m stepping forward with you.”

This restores security and trust.

And remember — the decision is ultimately theirs

The goal is not to force a solution, but to open a conversation rooted in love, respect, and realism. Some parents say yes straight away. Others need time. Both responses are okay.

If you're ready to explore home sharing for your parent in Dublin, you can take the first step here: